A couple days after the positive test, every smell bugged me. I had dark hair showing up on my belly and was sicker than a dog! I didn't experience that with my daughter at all. I had a lot of sciatic pain with her, but other than that it was a relatively easy pregnancy. Not with my son. Right from the start I was nauseated. Puking a few times a day and losing weight fast. I dropped down to 159 by the time I was 16 weeks along. It seems selfish, but I was kind of grateful that I wasn't packing the weight on like the time before. I didn't even start showing until we moved from Texas around 20 weeks. We had to stop and get Maternity clothes before we started the long drive to our new home just because my body chose that moment to start expanding.
During the move, the little bit I was able to eat was unhealthy as ever. Waffles at the hotels for breakfast, Burger King, Chinese food and a few random other fast food places we happened across. At that point I wasn't puking quite as often any more, so it all just stuck to me. I really didn't gain a lot, but I had discovered I could eat again and had a never ending appetite. By the time we got to the new place, I finally had a bit of a bump showing. Most of which I am convinced was just from the food.
A few weeks after arriving at our new home, I was set up with an amazing midwife group. Once they learned how far along I was and how long it had been since my previous appointment, they had me in immediately! I got a surprise ultrasound right there in the office, which made me more excited than ever. What pregnant woman doesn't like to have surprise ultrasounds to see their baby?! Then the scale. That dreaded thing that I hadn't stepped on in weeks because I was scared to see if I had lost more weight. I was even more scared to see if I had gained. They had me step on it. Yep. 165. I gained, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, so I breathed a sigh of relief. They ordered me to have a blood test done and to see an endocrinologist because my sugar levels were slightly higher than they should be. Not super high, but by their standards they were needing monitored. Then began my hell.
The Endo I saw was horrible. She was rude and unprofessional. However, I loved her staff. The nutritionists were amazing and they helped me a lot more than she did. The Endo pretty much told me to stop eating. She had me scared to eat anything at all. The first nutritionist in the office told me everything I should be eating and gave me charts I was to fill out and send back. However, because of the Endocrinologists wording about what she wanted from me, I didn't eat enough. I sent in my charts and sugar levels and they called me in to see them again. So, back I go to see another nutritionist. I took Rich with me because he was more level headed at the time and I was pretty emotional and scared of what they were going to say. I didn't want to hear them say that I needed to eat even less or that I needed to do something completely different than what I was. However, they really didn't. There was another nutritionist there and she actually told me I wasn't eating enough! We explained what the Endo had told me and she told me to ignore that and go enjoy a burger. I'll tell you what, we went straight from that office to pick up a burger and a shake. That was the best thing I had ever tasted in my entire life! Even if it did come back up 15 minutes later!
By the end of my pregnancy, I was having to give myself shots in my sides before bed every night. My fasting sugars, no matter what I did, were always high. Even with the insulin shots. Because of things going on currently, I actually suspect that my sugars were like that before this pregnancy. We'll get to that later though.
The day my son was born, I was 214lbs. I had gained fast in the last several weeks of my pregnancy. Because he was breech and would not turn any further than to go transverse, we agreed that I would have a second C-section instead of my VBAC. Between that news and my weight gain, I was heartbroken. I cried a lot in my last week of pregnancy. Recovery time from a c-section is not fun. I knew I would be stuck down and unable to even get my steps in because of how my body handled the previous one. However, I was up and walking within 24 hours after my 9lb 1oz little guy arrived on the scene. I didn't have to be pushed around in a wheel chair, he wasn't in the PICU or NICU like my daughter was, so there was less traveling around hospitals when I was tired. Recovery the second time was much easier! Even more fantastic was that I was informed that I don't have to have a c-section next time if we decide to have another and my weight dropped down to 180 pretty quick!
June 2, 2013. That's the day I felt well enough to do more than just walk around the house and sleep. With a pre-schooler and a newborn, I hadn't done anything. I was eating cruddy and not sticking to my plan of "doing better." So, I stepped on the scale. 192 lbs. Ok, I can deal with that. I hadn't hit the 200 mark again, so that was a huge plus in my eyes. I worked my butt off! Starting with easier workouts and then moving into HIIT training along with walking and trying to jog a bit. I got down to 160 before Halloween. It felt great! Then I started to waiver a bit with my eating and exercise. Exercising less, eating just a tad more. The holidays and my self control do not mix. By January I had gone back up to 175. I hated that. So I got a gym membership. No more excuses if I am paying for something. I can't waste that money!
From January until August, I was in the gym 5 days a week. During the snowy months, I was also shoveling snow some. Once it warmed up, I was out walking and jogging. My weight fluctuated from 160-170 the entire time. Went on vacation and came back at 172. Worked back down to 160 and went right back to fluctuating. Mentally, it was rough. My measurements stopped moving in August all together and my weight kept fluctuating quite a bit. It's like there was an imaginary line at 160 or something.
Now that we are caught up to here, I can tell you more about the current. December 2014.
In September, I got sick of the fluctuations. I kind of suspected that something could be up because I saw the biggest fluctuations after certain foods. I can seriously gain 3lbs over night and it will take me a couple weeks to work it back off. I started tracking my sugars. After meals look great! My fasting sugars, just like when I was pregnant, are consistently high though. So I made an appointment with my doctor. He ran a few blood tests and confirmed that pre-diabetes is an issue right now. I actually have my first appointment with a dietician this afternoon to discuss what to do now. However, hearing that pre-diabetes is an issue helped me a lot. After all of the studying I have done, I do know a little bit about how to handle it. While it was a hard confirmation for me (I sat down and cried for a bit and had a pity party for about a week), it was a reality check. The bad habits I used to have hurt me in several ways. However, I can still reverse this and get it under control.
Last month I was weighing in at 175 again. So, I did a week long liquid fast/cleanse to get things under control mentally. I allowed protein shakes after working out, chicken broth and those celery and onion soups that seemed so nasty when I was 240lbs and just starting. Granted, I didn't make them using water. I used chicken broth, green onions, celery and a few herbs. I have to have flavor. I can't do taste-less. That week I dropped back down to 167. The following week, I brought back salads and a few other things. Very low carb, but high protein. I gained back 2 pounds the first couple of days and then lost them again. My husband bought me a juicer for our upcoming anniversary that I have been using twice a day to get the added nutrients that I am not getting regularly. My carb levels are ranging from 30-100/day, depending on what juices and such I decide to make each day, my protein levels are up, my bloat is gone and my size 13 jeans are now too big on me.
This past weekend I crossed that imaginary line at 160. Totaling my loss at 82 pounds now, I am a whopping 158lbs and still losing! I am feeling more optimistic about my routine and my sugars are within safer zones. They are actually "normal" more often than not now. A high normal of 96-99, but it's better than the 103-124 they were every day. I found what will work for my body right now. I know another plateau is bound to happen in the future, but I am prepared now for when it does.
I'll end this here, but watch for my updates. I'll be trying to update at least once a week. I'll give different exercises I have done, a routine I made up for myself, recipes I have found and liked as well as links to some of my favorite youtube programs for those that can't afford a gym. I hope that by writing about my journey to get here rather than just starting up writing about where I am at helps someone out there. I am really hoping that I can help be the push that someone else needs to get to where they want to be. Push through the struggles. It is worth it. Not just in the physical aspects, but what getting healthy does for you mentally is absolutely fantastic!
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